Posted by: Mistress Mindy
When it comes to BDSM, domination, sadism, masochism… just femdom in general in this extremely fun world we’re all a part of, most people assume that a domme’s clients are all male. Most people (inside and outside of the scene) simply assume that my only paying clients are men.
This couldn’t be further from the truth. I have a number of women who pay for sessions – anything from strap-on play and extreme pain to golden showers and everything in between. It is true- sometimes I am a dominatrix for women.
“But why would a woman pay for that?” I am often asked by people who find it hard to believe. Quite simply, the same reason I have men pay me – because I am a professional who knows exactly what I’m doing. The more complicated answer is not as quick.
I’ve glossed over the psychology of domination a bit before. Many of my male clients come from positions of power. High level management, company owners… people who are in constant control and need me to ground them and make them feel very different than they usually do. These men love someone putting them in their place, even if it is only for two hours before they go back to controlling others. On the other hand, many of my clients are naturally submissive men whose purpose in life is to simply serve a powerful woman and make my every whim a reality.
Based on porn, many people feel that they see so many videos where men are not being dominated sexually – pain is administered, they’re serving, being humiliated, but (like some of my sessions), they don’t end with sexual release. It makes sense to people that men are used to that and ok with it. On the other hand, submissive women in BDSM porn scenes are bound, pain is administered, they serve – but it’s always inherently sexual. The woman (whether she’s sub to men or women) is being forced to orgasm or edged and brought back from the brink of orgasm. Her role in the scene is almost always to have sex, perform oral, be manipulated sexually and eventually become an orgasm receptacle.
Thus the confusion – many ask “Why would a woman pay to be dominated in a non-sexual manner? Women couldn’t possibly want that, could they?”
The answer is a definitive “yes”.
Let’s face it – women are just as powerful and prominent as men. Just like my male clients, the women I see typically fit into two categories: The powerful executive who needs to be controlled, and the submissive who wants nothing more than to serve.
The 2nd million dollar question is “so these women are lesbian or bi?” Of course everyone expects the answer to be yes, and sometimes it is. But for many, the answer is no.
“So straight women come with no sexual interest in you come to a dominatrix to be dominated, and they pay for it?” I know, it seems impossible, right?
Now, the obvious truth is that men still make up 96% of my client base. Not as many women are interested in this service, but there are many out there who either don’t realize they’re into this, or they don’t connect the dots about seeing a dominatrix. Most women seeking a scene like this don’t find it possible with men. I have yet to hear of a man offering a service in which he’s paid to degrade and beat women – most intelligent men see that there is too much potential that this endeavour would typically involve a jail sentence. In a personal scene with a boyfriend/spouse, it’s hard to find men comfortable with the idea of doing this, and doing it properly. Many women (friends and clients) constantly discuss the difficulty in finding a naturally dominant man who can respectfully and properly find the perfect balance and not cross the line from providing a pleasurable BDSM experience to being an abusive asshole.
A professional dominatrix, as many of my clients know, is able to provide these sessions, walking a beautiful line that combines force with care, domination with respect and of course, pain with pleasure.
I’m often asked by these women who initially email me “has anyone ever asked you for this?” or “this must seem crazy to you”. I want to make it clear – no fantasy is ever weird or wrong! I’ve pretty much heard it all. Many of these ladies tell me, like my cuckold clients, that they’ve read my blog and fantasized about this for so long, but just didn’t feel right about inquiring. Completely understandable. Yet they express interest in almost everything male clients love. Cuckqueaning (the female equivalent of cuckolding), strap-on play, fisting, medical, bondage, mummification and so much more.
For some, as mentioned, it can be a sexual attraction and they love being dominated by an attractive and powerful woman. For others though, it can be completely hetero. Some scenes I’ve acted out include:
– middle aged woman reliving the fantasy of being belittled by a girl from her high school
– younger woman who was the bully in high school wanting the girl she bullied to put her in her place
– middle aged woman whose daughter (or niece) puts her in her place and physically demeans her
– woman being controlled and embarrassed by her female doctor
– woman being punished and disciplined by her female boss
– woman being tied up and teased to the brink while getting a professional massage
– woman being berated and punished by a cop
– woman who is my lesbian girlfriend who has been caught cheating, so I bind and punish her (this is the one in the picture above, about to be bound to the St. Andrews’ cross under a sinfully punishing red light)
As you can imagine, the possibilitiesfor women seeking a domme are endless.
If you are one of these ladies who thought she was alone, trust me – you aren’t. I’d love to hear from you and hopefully we can fulfill a need you’ve had for a long time.
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