Where and how do I find the right Dominatrix in Toronto for me?

Hello lovelies.

When I am out and about and people ask me what I do for a living, and I tell them I’m a dominatrix, almost every one of them is fascinated. They ask how long I’ve been doing it, how I got into it, is it safe, etc… But the one question that intrigued me enough to write about it on my blog is: Where do you get your clients from?

More relevant to all of you – where and how do YOU find a dominatrix, and how do you ensure she’s the right domme for you?

As great as it would be to say it’s a brick and mortar solution like Walmart, where you can go out, browse shelves and head to checkout – sadly it’s not that easy. Granted, you can look into the kink community and head for fet events and possibly meet a Dominatrix there, but it’s a bit of a crapshoot.

For most of my clients and many out there, finding the right Domme follows today’s trend of instant gratification and online shopping. In order to preserve privacy and feel safe, most clients search from their phones, tablets and notebook/desktop computers.

Assuming that the preliminary interest has been established through porn searches, fantasizing and even talks with friends and spouses, when it comes to finding the right Domme, I generally see it as a 3-step process.

Step 1: 

Do a google search. 

The first search people generally use is “Toronto Dominatrix”. If you live in a surrounding area, you may try searching for Dominatrix in your town – Richmond Hill, Vaughan, Markham, Newmarket, Stouffville, Brampton, Mississauga, Oakville… you get the idea. For the most part though, due to Toronto being the major city – most associate themselves with Toronto.

As much as I hate to put any negative spin on anyone out there – I have to recommend that you avoid any links on Backpage. If someone has posted an ad on backpage claiming to be a Domme, chances are they’re simply a prostitute or escort trying to cash in on a niche.

Remember – a REAL Dominatrix is not offering sex or full service. Dommes like myself are providers of fantasy, psychology and experts in many facets of kink/BDSM. For the most part, any dominatrix in Toronto who is serious about this profession has a personal website. THAT is usually a good indication that you’ll be able to proceed with them safely and confidently.

Step 2:

Filter through all of the info and choose the best dominatrix for you.

After browsing thoroughly, you’ll generally have found a Domme or two who appeal to you both in looks, and what they offer. Toronto is pretty awesome for kink – Dommes come in all shapes and sizes and ages, so you’ll almost certainly find someone whose looks turn you on. Whether you like them young, curvy/busty and blonde like me (and yes, the featured image is a playful selfie of my glorious chest – if you were wondering up to this point why that was the image in this blog, THERE is your tie-in…), or if you prefer someone more mature, brunette and skinny – there is no shortage of options.

Once you like the looks, you should also look at their list of session types. If you are looking for medical play, that is a little rare. Not everyone is comfortable with using needles or comfortable with the lingo. Most Toronto Dommes offer standard pain play, CBT, spanking, humiliation, etc… but if you’re looking for something more niche like cuckolding, search for it specifically through google. It may be tough to find someone who fits your ideal look AND offers that specific fantasy, so you’ll need to determine which aspect is more important – looks, or scene.

My wish for you is that the Domme you choose hits both marks and you have a perfect fit!

Step 3:

Contact her politely and intelligently.

I can not stress the importance of this enough. When people contact me with a tone of rudeness, lack of respect or very little details, most of the time I simply won’t write them back. Dommes like myself take our work very seriously. I respect every one of my clients, from their privacy to their fantasies to their satisfaction. I make it my goal to ensure that their lives are better when they come to me, and I believe that should be the goal of every dominatrix.

(On a side note, if you believe the dominatrix you’re interested in is more in it for herself and doesn’t genuinely care about your happiness, please consider moving on to someone else).

When I am contacted, I expect a polite greeting, an introduction to who you are, a brief description of your interests and a polite request for my contact in return.

Make sure you’ve read the Domme’s list of session types and address them specifically if you’re interested in them. If a Domme doesn’t have your kink listed (ie electrical play), if she is physically your top choice, it certainly never hurts to ask! However, keep in mind, if she considered it a specialty of hers, she probably would have listed it in the first place.

Single lines, demands for a session that same day having never conversed before… all unacceptable.

So there you have it – a simple 3-step process for how to make all of your kinky fantasies come true.

As always, I’m happy to hear from you if you have any questions, and if you’d like to contact me about a session, I look forward to hearing from you – just make sure to follow step 3!